I was ordained yesterday. I'm a minister with the Universal Life Church. I went online and filled out a form, then clicked on a button that says "ORDAIN ME." It took about 30 seconds and was free. I did pay $29.95 ($34.05 with tax) to get a certificate and a manual on conducting weddings (as well as the applicable law on weddings for all 50 states). All things considered, I thought it was a deal.

Why would I get ordained one might ask? Well, my beautiful friend Kelli is getting married to Greg. They asked me to preside over the wedding. I'm so flattered and thrilled. The wedding is not for a year (date set for June 10), but I'm already planning my sermon. God I love a microphone!